June 2023 – Sonatix Wellness (2024)

A tip or two

Here’s some uncomfortable news: Healing requires work

The phrase, “I’m fine,” is a striking indicator that, well, you’re probably not.

Gabor Mate said that “trauma is a…wound that hardens you…that then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you’re acting out of pain. It induces fear and now you’re acting out of fear. Trauma is not what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you.”

I was 37 when I was told I didn’t have to carry the grief and pain of deep-seated betrayal with me forever. A surprise, really, when I had thought that with time (and ignorance), the pain that perforated my heart and soul would eventually dissipate. Melt away. Evaporate? In the meantime, I was “fine.”

But, um, where was that pain supposed to go? Would the pain escape through snores or seep out of pores during sweaty workouts? Nah, it stuck.

As involuntary as breathing and blinking, the results of trauma cause deep-rooted responses within our bodies. Out of self-preservation, our subconscious constantly cycles through trauma responses—automatic thoughts, feelings, and reactions that cause some real problems in our everyday lives, often without us even knowing it’s happening.

I avoided the pain, the grief, and the complex emotions of embarrassment, shame, and anger—I was unwilling to feel anything that meant anything. I grinned and bore the burden that trauma left upon my shoulders, the Atlas of my own experiences. I gracefully held the weight, letting it crush me instead of risking the unknown of learning how to heal. Sure, I felt “fine,” but I lacked vital self-awareness and self-compassion until I ponied up the courage to talk about the pain, forgive, and let go.

I was trapped in the effects of the trauma, in the false safety provided by the “I’m fine” mentality.

The journey of setting myself free from trauma damage hasn’t been easy. It’s work, and it hurts. This work requires honesty, vulnerability, courage, and discomfort. I’m far from finished.

There’s hope: You don’t have to carry its burden anymore.

Stop feeling fine. Instead, heal.

I hope you are taking care of your brains.

That’s correct: brains.

Brian Gorman, a Forbes.com contributor, explained in a 2019 article that our head, heart, and gut each have (among other things) sensory neurons, motor neurons, ganglia, and neurotransmitters. In other words, each of these vital body parts can take in, store, and process information, indicating further that there are three centers of thinking in the human body and not just in the brain.

This information supports what we know about the Enneagram. The Enneagram has three intelligence areas: the body, the heart, and the brain. Correctly stacking and understanding these intelligences creates our Enneagram number, a reflection of how a person behaves, acts, thinks, and feels. Our body, heart, and brain all affect why we do what we do!

This information helps give parents some of the most critical and accurate understandings of our children. Using the Enneagram personality theory, we can see our children’s strengths, areas of growth, and perceptions of our children. In addition, the three stances (aggressive, balanced, and withdrawn) define our children’s style of getting what they need or want. With this information at our fingertips, here are some tips to help engage in authentic communication with our children.

“The world will not beinheritedby the strongest, it will beinheritedby those most able to change.”

— Charles Darwin

Join us on Thursdays beginning June 1st from 6:00-7:30 PM for weekly conversations in a safe, judgment-free environment to help promote parental confidence. Find and interact with parents of similarly-minded children.

Our weekly conversations will discuss significant behavior challenges, such as navigating the behaviors of children with ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, impulse control, anxiety, mood disorders, and more.

Consider it an ongoing conversation: Choose which sessions fit your needs as parents.

Our children are navigating a labyrinth of a new unknown, which can be scary and confusing. More and more often, our kids are experiencing volatile and aggressive behavior that shakes up the power dynamic in the home, leaving parents with strained relationships and unsure of how to proceed. That’s a lot to hold. As parents, we may feel we lack the proper tools to help raise our children effectively, especially as behavior escalates.

These conversations will help parents develop “manuals” for individual children as they discover resources and implement parenting tools.

Group will be held at Sonatix Wellness. Price is $30 for adults and $50 for a couple. Payment will be collected attime of group.

Introducing: MTHFR

MTHFR governs methylation, or your body’s ability to pull out carbon from your food and use it to build almost all of your molecules. Every system in your body is affected by methylation. Some MTHFR variants can decrease your ability to grab methyl groups by 17%, 33%, 50%, or even 75%. When your methylation doesn’t work as well, your body won’t have enough “workers” to build the neurotransmitters, toxin removal molecules, or even the muscles in your body. When that happens, you may feel sicker, more sluggish, your temper may increase, and toxins may build up in your body.

Folate is the key chemical that extracts methyl groups from your food. You get folate primarily from leafy greens. A synthetic form called Folic Acid is found in fortified foods and some supplements (i.e., cereals, bread, flour), but your body can’t utilize it well. Folic acid acts like the annoying person at the DMV that just won’t get out of line, slowing down the whole system.

We review your MTHFR in our genetics tests & consultations. If you have a variant that reduces your methylation, there are things we can do to help. Increase your leafy greens. Reduce the amount of folic acid you eat. Reduce stress, sleep more, and increase physical activity. By optimizing your methylation, you’re giving your body the ability to remove toxins better, improve mental health, and build what it needs to excel.